This is from a 23 year old reddit user who posted this "I want to be roughed up and pinned down, but not choked to within an inch of my life. I want to be forced and held in place, but not beaten before I bleed. I want to be violated ...... willingly," This user's daily notes show a very sunny, kind, life-loving person and has over 5,000 followers. Of course a Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) lover does not mean he is twisted inside, he can also be a very gentlemanly, elegant and popular.
CNC kink, also known as rape play, is not really brutal, inconsiderate rape, but simulated rape with the consent of two or more people. It satisfies the cravings of the spirit world, and you can, in a way, think of participants as actors playing a role and exploring a desire that isn’t okay outside the realm of fantasy.
It is very exciting to try out different role-plays between lovers to experience different feelings, and can promote a couple or lovers' relationship.
However, we need to be aware of these things:
Establishing a contract
The need to agree not to engage in non-consensual activities without prior consultation when meeting the expectations of both parties helps to provide a safer environment for both parties and allows for a very enjoyable implementation of the activities that follow.
Establishing safety words (verbal or non-verbal）
If both partners feel uncomfortable or unsafe at any point during contact, hold up a finger or tap once to slow down and twice to stop completely. This is very helpful as you don't have to worry about whether you are crossing any boundaries or hurting the other person while indulging your desires.
"CNC's are a way of getting those real feelings in a conscious, intentional and risk-aware way. It is like a kind of recreation in life, for example some people like skydiving but others are afraid of it, some people like surfing but others don't, in their free time some people just like to stay at home but others like to travel around, etc. We need to try to understand and not treat it differently, because CNC is respectful of others when it is mutually agreed and not forced.
Mark struggled to bring it up to his wife of ten years. "Admittedly I'm interested in these subjects and I'm terrified," he says. "What would she think of me? How could she believe I was a safe, sensible, compassionate feminist if I was also outraged by 'violating' her consent?" Once his partner acknowledges that she feels the same way, he is able to open up.
It is very important to practice CNC safely. Without healthy communication and negotiation about what both parties want to happen, a scene can be "very healthy and very interesting" once all these things have been dealt with.